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March 18 Junk Food JunkyLately I've been eating tons and tons. I don't know if I'm just bored or what. I really need to start eating better but its hard for me. I like to eat things that are easy to just grab and eat. I also will choose junk food over healthy food if its right in front of me. I need help. Any former junk food junkies got any advice? February 26 I'm going back to work.Only a couple more days until I leave and I'm going back to work tomorrow and Tuesday. I'm way excited to leave and glad I'm I get to go back to work. I just dont' feel like it tomorrow. Oh well it should make the next to days go by faster. I hope. February 23 DododoooodooI am happy and ready to do something. I guess that's because I just watched "MADE" and I get to go back to work. I'm moving to Texas. I'm ready to Rock N Roll. February 22 Its RoughI'm having a lot trouble this eveing. I feel very very lonely. I guess lately I've been thinking to much about my parents, my childhood, the friends I use to have. Jason is all I need besides the Lord. Its hard when Jason's not here though. I don't have anyone to be with. I don't even have anything to write. I just do it because I have no one else to talk to. I miss Jason and I am sad. I feel better about myselfYou know I probably haven't lost any weight since I've been walking the dogs tons. I feel like I have. I think my stomach has gotten flatter. Anyways at least I feel better about myself. I'm going to keep it up and move up to jogging soon enough. February 21 Waiting for next weekOkay so I'm really bored. I'm leaving on vacation in a about a week. I've bee laid off of work for a who knows how long. I've been trying to do my best to stay busy. Just been walking the dogs and getting ready for the big move. I wish there was something that would help make the time go by fast. I haven't got anything to even think about. Why can't I enjoy haven't two weeks off like everyone else. I guess I'm just a boring person with nothing to do. February 19 Sunday Night BlahI think I might start keeping a blog about my life. I don't know why because I really don't have much to say. Not really much goes on in my life. Half of the month I spend alone and the other half I relax with Jason.
My family in Alaska are in their own little worlds with their own pirorities. I guess that is normal for a 14 year old girl ( my sister) to be in her own little world, but what about my parents? All my dad thinks about is how he is going to make his next buck. All my mom thinks about is the Philippines and her family there. They could care less that I'm going to be leaving in two months.
I'm moving to Texas. I would like to say that I will never move back to Alaska but you never know what the Lord has in store for your life. It would be a shame if I did ever have to move back here. I have no friends to spend any time with and I already told you about my family.
Its seems most of my life I've spent alone. Even though I've been happily married for over a year, trying to keep our heads above water means we have to spend some time apart. I've gotten use to it. Its sad but I just deal with it. Its good that I have gotten use to it. I wouldn't go running around on my husband.
Jason means the world to me. I spend half of my month longing to see him and the other half dreading the weeks that he's gone. Thank God for Jason, I don't know where I would without him. I probably wouldn't even be alive. I was living pretty close to the edge when we met.
When Bobby introduced me to Jason I was to shy to even look up at him. You could have lined him up with two other guys and I wouldn't have known which was him. It was my first day on the USCG Polar Star. Had a lot going on. I had no idea that day I had met my soul mate.
I even went to his house for a party and still clueless that it was his house. He had me and two other girls take a shot of tequilla and went to the back room with one of his many girlfriends.
That was a two and half years ago. We've matured since then. Seems like we've known each other long. We've been through so much together. We've been married a little over a year and half. I love him more and more everyday. I couldn't imagen life without him. I couldn't ever leave him.
Well that was the past. I wanted to talk about today. I took the dogs for a walk and worked on training them a little bit. I love Acey and Deseil so much. I hope they don't ever outlaw the breed where I live. I wouldn't want any other breed but American Bulldog. They are are such great dogs.
I also cleaned up around the house some. I seen my Uncle Keith today too. Probably be many years before I see him again. If I ever see him again. He's kind of a loner. Doesn't keep in much contact with my dad or Grandpa. Plus me moving to Texas will probably decrease my chances of seeing him again. My family has split apart. Isn't much of a family anymore.
This makes me even that much more dependent on Jason. If I didn't have him, I wouldn't have anyone. His family is very kind to me and they love me. But its through him that they are my family.
So the rest of my day consist of sitting at the computer looking through myspace.com trying to contact people I use to know and see if any of them want to adopt Rose. Poor Rose, I hate to give her up. She could have a better life with someone else. Thinking about what a loser I was in school because I was to shy to talk to anyone. I thought everyone didn't like me or didn't know me. I was wrong about them not knowing me. They probably would have liked me if I tried to get to know them or let them get to know me. I wonder if I'll ever have a close friend again, well besides Jason. I doubt it.... |
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